Drawing For Beginners: The Rectangle
    Consider the rectangle, wont you. Then consider it again. Consider all the possibilities, this short will show you how. Mike, Kev and Bill are in prime form for this short and they needed to be, because it's pretty dull. The guy in the film draws rectangles, lots of rectangles, in many shapes and forms - "Now for a real challenge we're going to draw a brick" – Mike. Just to mix things up the artist renders a lad named little Willie - who provides laughs from both Kevin (referencing Willie Horton) and Bill (an obvious but hilarious nod to that famous rock song). Add in Mike's cute Jimmy Stewart impression as well many a rectangulated quip, and I was doubled over with laughter. So nice I watched it twice.

Kittens: Birth and Growth
    This is another Baileys film, so we get more of Mike's hilarious Jimmy Stewart voice - sweet! The short is packed with cuddly kittens and I found myself saying "Awwww" a lot. Mommy cat gives birth and a couple of kids help out. While the animals are cute, the riffing is kind of dark. Very funny, but dark. So if you think you can't handle a joke about drowning and suicidal cats, this might be one to skip. I love kitties, but I still managed to love the comedy too. Bill's crack about the litter box (cats might be clean, but they still leave you with a box full of smelly clumps) is one of several sharp observations that had me howling with laughter.


Reading: Who Needs It
    Rifftrax takes us into a world where reading is not fundamental! The film focuses on the lives of 3 non-readers: A basketball player, a mechanic and a not so funny comedic actress with makeup issues. As the story progresses, each student is humiliated. Their dreams left broken and scattered at their feet, all due to the written word.     This is a long short, and while I didn’t find it non-stop hilarious (as I did with shorts like Molly Grows Up), there are more than enough top-notch references and irreverent jabs to make it a load of fun. Particularly down the stretch when each kid is confronted about his or her problem ("You can’t read, right?")


Families Food and Eating & Summer is an Adventure
    The Rifftrax shorts-blitz continues with two more releases to review. The Families, Food and Eating short is a longer one and opens with some blistering bon mots (starting with Mike's hilarious Churchill impression). The riffing on the multicultural line-up is as funny the ones heard in MSTs "Santa Claus". Eventually we get down to exploring the eating habits of 3 diverse people - all of it is a hoot, especially when they focus on the Japanese kid (and draw on every stereotype they can find). The American's take some telling shots. We do come off spoiled and it's pretty funny how these folks agonize over heads of lettuce while in Mexico, grandpa is banging away at a tree with a stick, to eat what ever falls from it.

    Summer is an Adventure also has a brilliant cultural swipe, in regards to crops -"Everything's ready at once, we need more Mexicans!" – Bill- but is more in line with MSTs "Uncle Jims Dairy Farm", as city folk visit the great outdoors. This work on this one is a little more low-key. While not as good as the Eating film, there are laughs to be had. That kid Fred looks like I did when I was a lad, I wonder which one of us is the evil twin? (I'm going with Fred - he did convince his sister that Fireflies taste like candy)

Reading Growth: Basic Skills
    More reading instructions – this one isn't as funny as the one they released a while back. Not much else I can say other than it's a real dry short and the riffing does little to moisten things up. I gave the film a few listens, but it rarely clicks. A few chuckles sprinkled here and there... never-the-less, Bill's line about San Antonio basketball was worth every penny spent. That was classic!

Taking Care of Your Own Things
    Reggie is a messy little boy who has become death, destroyer of toys - and the toys aint gonna take it anymore! This is one freaky deaky short and much of my laughter came as much from it, as the riffing. Each of Reggie's things come equipped with it's own accent, often quite creepy sounding in fact. Reggie himself is rather creepy looking too. The quips tackle all that is weird, and offer up obvious, but funny references. This would make a good double feature with the psycho-drama, "A Christmas Dream".

Geography of Your Community
    This film tells the rousing story of the Ice Cream and Clay conglomerates that rule a small rural town, and of a boy with an unusual name who comes between them. Think of it as "Yojimbo" without the dog carrying a hand in its mouth....
    Err, despite my spurious summary, the riff-work here is nice and steady with several laugh out loud moments (as opposed to 'laugh in quiet' moments?) The most enjoyable bits are when they take the narration at face value and give it a little twist. I also found it cute when they acknowledge that they are running out of funny things to say about the company that produced the short. Good effort: Clay and Ice Cream has never been more fun.

The Parts of Speech
This is one is a mixed bag humor wise. I didn’t care for the rambling, noisy stuff - Mike’s suicide attempt for example is a clever idea that didn't pan out well in the end and the "catch the ball" scream fest was painful. But a diapered teen was a hoot, as were the quips spoken when Timmy sits on Roger (the horror, the horror!) Jewel's poem and Bill referencing Tonto were both cute. Another plus was that as a result of this short, my writing has become more gaily striped.

Watch Out For My Plant
    This is a mostly wordless film about a boy who... grows a plant. It's a dull as it sounds and the guys struggle to wring any laughter from it. There are a couple chuckles (Art Garfunkel is referenced and there's a line about tears that was cute) but I don't have much else to say because there not much that was all that interesting. I could have skipped it.

Values: Do the Right Thing
    This one starts off well – I got a big laugh out of Kevin's Neal Young impression as I did his Mr. Carson. Mr. Carson is kind of odd and an easy target. The rest of the film, about a group of boys who cross paths with the old man, moves slowly and silently. A fact MK&B point out for laughs. Values was a good, though not great short. But that outburst at the end - is that referencing something? Because it was out of the blue and off-putting.

Family Teamwork
    Wow, these are some conscientious kids. Each one put aside their own selfish wants to chip in and be good members of the family team. Not a screaming tantrum among them… so it’s pure fantasy but the guys do a bang up job zeroing on this group. Though it does slow down by the time we get to the final kid, the majority of the work was a riot. I especially enjoyed the first 2 segments with the scary faced camping family and the kid with the demon hat. Good fun, plus we got a Fareed Zakaria reference (the lad just enjoys international issues and foreign affairs I guess).


Pearl of the Orient
    Not the story of Mrs. Forrester in China. This short tells us of the Philippines, its people and customers, which are examined, and then teased. Pretty fun work here, especially during the rice ballet. There's much to see on this island paradise, including a cockfight... that uh, yeah, you can imagine where the guys will be going with that event. Then there are the Sulu islands (Yay! I can never get enough Takai impressions) and people doing haunting dance moves that are sure to be a treat!

Individual Differences
    I.D. is a nice bookend to go with "Each Child is Different". This 23 minute short is spilt in halves: Good Teacher/Bad Teacher – The first part with the bad teach is the best, but there are great laughs to be had in the 2nd half as well. The object of Teacher's attention is a shy student named Roy, who is cast under the shadow of his brother George. While I really wanted the guys to bash bad teacher (due to the sudden onset of my own grade school flashbacks), it was Roy who gets raked over the coals, and that worked too. MK&B get off some hilarious zingers at Roy's expense and I was in stitches as the poor lad was constantly harangued by his nemeses (Mrs. Batchelder?) - spurned on by the taunting riffs of our merciless traxers. As stated earlier, the good teach side wasn't as steady, but there were goodies to be had there as well, and I enjoyed this release in total.

Whatever the Weather
    A rhyming narrator talks about the weather as kids dink around in wind, rain, snow and sun. The movie is kind of blah, as Bill says, "There are things" and that's about it. The riffing doesn't liven up those "things" much. They do that, "the movie is breaking us, weeping and going mad" thing they do, but neither this, nor much of the rest wowed me. When it was through, with a sad smile and a sigh – I wrote in my review, that humor was had in short supply

Building Better Paragraphs
    Lets see if I can arrange a properly constructed paragraph: Uh-mm – This review is about a bunch of kids who try to write an article about Susan's prize winning dog. During which 3 guys talk over the film and make fun of the children and the dog... No, wrong! There's something missing. As Kevin mentioned in this short, I need to spice this paragraph up with more profanity!
     Overall I felt this was a bitingly funny release. There are some deliciously mean spirited quips splattered throughout, which leads me to deduce that I must be a jerk. Because whenever MK&B hit bellow the belt and throw mud at the kids, I was in hysterics. In conclusion, teacher's giant pocket mesmerized me. The end.

Are All People the Same and Mealtime Manners and Health
    In "Are All People the Same", the question of race is examined. Through the riffing didn't blow me away; there were goodies to be had - Like cameos from the Nelson twins and Tracy Chapman (this is a star studded affair). Oh, and Kevin is right, the Irish rule like no other race!

    "Mealtime Manners" offers up heartier laughs. Making fun of our (Italian?) protagonist, his close-ups and the way he fumbles a line at the end were all a hoot (plus there's a cute "Plan 9" callback). According the short, manners during mealtime spill over into every day manners as well. It's fun and healthy to be well mannered when we eat, and it all translates into being picked to do things at School... things none of us would actually want to do.

Things Are Different Now
    Tony’s cameo was the best part of this short – his undone zipper and super cut were the stuff of legend. Sadly, Tony is not the star of the film, the star is a young lad who is going through a lot of changes - divorce, puberty, fat pals who smear them with mud, oh for fun. The subject is dour but the riffing sparkles (not unlike a vampire). There's a callback to "The Happening" and a "Does my dad love me" survey, for kicks. Forehead touching also plays a big part in this 16-minute film. Recommended.

William's Doll
    The description at the Rifftrax site sums this up well. The short is trying to tell us that a boy playing with dolls is okay, but ends up sending the opposite message. Williams's obsession with babies and dolls comes off downright icky. Which plays right into MK&B hands - as the trio help push that feeling along, with quipping that is darkly snide and teasing. For example, Kev has School dismissed until they can find the creepy folk singer that wrote the shorts ‘pro-doll’ theme song – while Bill would have dad and grand pappy swinging from a tree in shame over William's fixation. The comedy material doesn't surprise, it goes right where you’d expect it to go. Since it put me in stitches, I can't complain.

Decisions, Decisions
    This is a top notch offering from the guys, with wonderfully pinpoint riffing on some wonderfully riffable characters. The short tells the tale of Tommy, the new kid in School who has to choose between hanging out with a group of cool, friendly guys, or paint a chicken coup with Joey, a nerdy kid who is kind of a dickweed. Joey is an easy target –even the way he plays football is a source of great laughter- but theirs also a heavily sedated mother to tease as well. Those two alone had me in tears, and the rest was just as good.

Library World
    Library World opens with a cute "Big Country" reference and goes uphill from there. The story revolves around a young library employee giving a tour to a couple of kids; a tour that is supplemented with visual aides. A bright catalog of clever quips is found throughout - from the pointed and dark material during the Civil War sequence, to a hilarious mention of a 'not so wholesome' movie. In addition to that is the sharp jabs directed at the dim witted blonde boy, and one of the funniest end credits I've ever seen (or rather, heard). This weeks shorts were both winners and come highly recommended.

Fad Diet Circus
    This film takes the Adkins diet (and other fad diets) to task. The shorts rather m’eh, the riffing is fair at best, with a sprinkling of highlights - including the doctors loud coat, a woman's giant hair and a band that performs diet protest songs. Okay effort, nothing amazing though.

More Dangerous Than Dynamite
    This is the studio version of the first short they performaed live at the "Reefer Madness" show. It's an oldie, and I guess in those days people washed their clothes in gasoline... which caused them to get blow'd up, blow'd up real good! The short was a riot, and there are a few different quips from the live version (Kevin's opening quips when objects explode). The film features an amusing scene where a woman is attacked by animated fire - Devo fans will remember that clip from their video for "Beautiful World"

Alone at Home
    Kids give us instructions on how to act when you’re left home alone. Such as, making sure you have Nunchucks or, as Kevin suggests, screaming if you have an emergency. All of this is helpful and pretty funny too. The lanky nasally nerd, a young Britney prototype who has to baby-sit her idiot brother and a lonely scaredy cat, act as our instructors. MK&B do top notch work riffing on the trio (and their paranoia); brother Jimmy is the star and earns the biggest laughs.

Telephone For Help
    This short gives us more kids showing us how to do stuff. Here, it's advice on what to do if you need to call the police or fire department... or the plaid softball league. This one runs under 10 minutes and is pretty good throughout – but it was the opening sequence that gave be barrel laughs, but maybe that's because I’m a superhero freak.

What If We Had A Fire
    Kid in a comic book shirt talks family into having fire drills. It's a fun one; with young Billy's visit to the "mildly funky" fire department, a highlight. I like how the fireman says (after the boy answers a question correctly), "Now you’re cooking", without realizing his sick joke (the riffers lightly chuckle over that). Fire is good, but the next short was funnier...

Seven Little Ducks
    Wowza, the traxers get mean/dark with this one: Noting a pig girl and the nasty fate that awaits the wee ducklings (including being served as Balut). It's funny nonetheless. The title doesn't reveal much about the plot... because there isn't one. In truth, ducks aren't all that thrilling - as evidenced by the short, in which we watch them bathe and eat and gad about the yard. (Now the film "Se7en Little Ducks" is another story...)

Cops! Who Needs Them?
    This is a groovy flick about teen that is forced to seek help from the humorless cops that he'd given a hard time to earlier in the day. Oh, and an odd guy named Frank has a cameo. The riffing here is decent (and includes a nice MST3K callback), thought the short itself feel off kilter to me. The cops appear very disinterested in everything - even when one of them is shot.

You Can Do Something About Acne
    Ah, sebum! The short is a detailed exploration of acne, is causes, its cures - the myths and legends that surround it. The work on Acne is a riot. The opening bits with the banjo music had me in stitches, but the whole shebang was a hoot. Though sebum does make me kind of queasy. Maybe if they called it something else, like fluffernutter - yeah, that's much better. Anyway, good fun stuff here, often silly (as with the competitive teen's sitting stiffly in shafts of light).

I started off this next set of shorts with...
Safe Living At School – This one involves clumsy kids on an accident spree. The release is large with laughs, though I did get a wee bit sick of hearting that tympani whenever an accident would happen. The material was dark and that cheered me up, plus I've learned a valuable lessen. Should I ever enter a school, to be on the safe side, I need to have a random spaz attack and avoid Red Bull's and all children. Up next...

Behavior of Domestic Pigs: This horrifying short leaves nothing to the imagination, plus it's boring... even the narrator with his colorful Scottish accent, sounds as if he's bored with all of this pig business. There are fair riffs to be had, but it wasn't one that left much of an impression. I could have skipped it and slept better at night – In the words of Col. Kurtz, "The horror… the horror."

Monkey See, Monkey Do: Verbs –was the next short on my excursion. And the primary thing I learned with this one was that there are a lot of freakishly weird looking monkeys out there in the world. So Monkeys do stuff and the narrator points out what they are doing, over and over again. The guys do a good job making all this monotony worth watching. Though they eventually start to run out of steam. Thankfully a kindly folk singer shares a song, which fires up the riffer's imaginations. Hilarious lyricists these guys are, well, except for Mike.

I followed up my visit to Monkey land with... Don't Be a Bloody Idiot - And if you are a bloody idiot, an Australian will point a gun at you and regale you with tales of bush. This short is about people who get lost in that oft mentioned bush. The riffing takes the obvious turns, and it's a hit and miss affair. There are a handful of guffaws among a bush full of m’eh . After this filthy flick I was harassed by a witch -

The Magic of Disappearing Money was an uproarious offering shown during the 2010 Halloween live show. This is the studio version (there are a few differences in quips) and it’s a classic. In it, an annoying witch harangues people into saving money (look, lady, I'm lazy and I don't wish to mix my own pudding. I think I can afford to pay the extra 10 cents, thank you!) The riffing and the reactions/actions of the people in the short are priceless. Also: Look close, and you'll notice a familiar face. The milkman in this film played a military man in MST3Ks "Attack of the the Eye Creatures"

And last but not least was - Values: Understanding Ourselves: This one is about 3 friends who happen upon a hubcap and find great entertainment value in it. One of the 3 decides it might be fun to rub and rub and furiously rub the hubcap, in hopes that it will grant him a wish. Hmm, there was a bigger theme... but the hubcap is all I can clearly remember. The quipping is solid, with pot shots taken at the boys and their families and freckles and what not. Of note: The narrator in this piece is Vic Perrin who is best known as the control voice in the classic "Outer Limits" TV show. His inclusion made the rubbing a little more horrifying.


RiffTrax Index * Page one * Page two * Page three * Series films * Rifftrax Presents * Rifftrax Shorts * Home * Film Crew etc


The Calendar: How to Use it - Dig those pants! My next series of 6 began with a couple of groovy hipsters -aided by a master guitarist- who offer helpful advice on how to use a calendar. Apparently some people are confused and use it to sift spaghetti (er, that's a colander, btw) when in fact, before the age of the computer and cell phone, it was the only means we had for making certain that we were not late for parties and the like. The short is a gas, the riffing a riot and the songwriting is... well it leaves me speechless. Thankfully MK&B give voice to my amusement over all this wackiness. This is one of my favorite shorts and is a must see Trax.

Unto the least of these: Will wonders never cease? Someone actually filmed a short that focuses on chasing chickens... with a helicopter... equipped with a giant net! Ah sweetness. The riffing for this piece is okay, there's a couple of cute pop culture references and some smart observations about the wisdom of spending our tax dollars on such an endeavor.

Santa Punch and Judy - Ahh Punch and Judy, the 3 Stooges of the puppet world. Even as a child I found their abusive behavior more disturbing than funny - thankfully the funny is found springing from the mouths of out riffers. An old Santa is there for the set up and the Christmassy quips are a welcome gift (ala, noticing the robot kid). The Punch and Judy section is even more hysterical, as the guys pinpoint commentary is appropriately biting and snarky

Courtesy: A Good Egg: Next we visit a planet of the eggs. Batman villain Egg Head is referenced and because of that a lot of bad (good) egg puns are heard. MK&Bs riffing takes some funny dark turns (as when an Egg cracks his skull) and they create some funny by questioning the logic (I love how Kevin sums it up with his final line) and freakiness of it all. Upbeat, breezy work here.

The Being on Time Game: Otis is back; this time he's spinning rhymes to a excessively tardy girl (who looks like Tommy Shaw to me... especially when I squint up my eyes while listening to Styx). There's much tripping on the goof balls and the like, which leads to a cute callback - and other fun riffs about rhymes and being late and disco leading to the fall of the 70s empire. Pretty good short.

Basic Job Skills: Handling Daily Problems - The final film in this mini-marathon was another good one that frequently had me rolling with laughter. It's full of smart alecky swipes at the characters and their ability or inability to handle whatever life throws at them. I felt the knock-out riffing slacked off a bit at the end (I wanted more angry "stupid clown" comments) but most of it works. Disgruntled employees are a fun subject to mock.

Courtesy Counts A Lot
Here we get a cheap looking cartoon, which offers up several examples of courteous behavior. Despite the inclusion of another bad song, I wasn't feeling a lot of love for this one. The jokes lacked life - tired rehashes - like Kevin screaming in horror, or the guys repeating the title because they feel the title doesn't fit, fell flat. I still got a few chuckles out of it.

Remember Me
This is the story of a milquetoast who is treated like dirt time and time again. But he doesn't get angry. No, he holds it all in, allows it to fester and boil until he explodes in a consumer filled rage... and simply decides to calmly go to other places, where he will be treated like the Princess he is. Unlike the last short, this is alight with bright quips. The riffs with the bank teller for example: It offers up a slam on flight attendants, and a cute mention that our hero is married to the rude cashier. I got a lot of barrels laughs from those and from the short throughout.

Walking to School
I got to laughing so hard at this short that I was squeezing tears from my eyes. Not just for the riffing, but for the film itself. These kids walk and walk and walk and walk, with a grim faced determination they never waiver on their task. Through alleys, and overpasses and tunnels, they walk – It makes me wonder, how far away is their school and why don't they have busses? This walk-a-thon was a riot and Mike, Kev and Bill take note of it all with hilarious darts.

Improve Your Pronunciation
From the first fuzz guitar notes and the groovy backdrop, I fell in love with this short. Which offers up a panel of teens who learn about grunting and smudging. I'm not fond of picky word police -smugly correcting everything one says- so I enjoyed seeing them (in the guise of the smooth moderator) taken down a notch through the riffing. If you are a grammar cop, don't depair - because MK&B are fair and balanced: The poor pronouncers receive a paddling as well. Overall a top dra’r... er, "drawer" effort.

Basic Job Skills: Dealing With Customers
This short offers helpful instructions for dealing with idiots… er, customers. In addition to that, it’s stocked with fashionable 70s style clothing and a dog named Tor. MK&B keep the customer satisfied by adding minutes upon minutes of funny riffing. I was laughing steady, and there' a cute callback I think most trax-fans will enjoy.

The ABCs of Walking Wisely
The rhyming flicks aren't my favorites and this one was a step down from the short I viewed before it. That's not to say it's devoid of humor. I chortled much as Mike noticed a couple of tennis watchers, or when Kevin expressed concern over K walkers, and as keen eyed Bill spotted "King Jesus". Strange guys offering rides to children continue to be a larf as well (see the Walking to School short for more on that subject).

Vision in the Forest
This is one I've long wanted them to do, but I figured that since it was a short, short, that they might skip it. Thankfully they give it a go, and though it only runs a little over 5 minutes, the short and the quips make it 99 cents well spent. The film is about a family stuck in the woods, singing songs and smoking. While out collecting sticks, Chris the boyish daughter spots Smokey the Bear gadding about. The movie is a fun one and MK&B were a hoot. Especially with the lyrics they inject into the songs.

A Badgers Bad Day
A badger is sprayed by a skunk, which starts a cycle of humiliation and failure for the animal. Though I didn't laugh as steady as I did with Vision, it wasn't bad. It turns out that baffled badgers are pretty fun. We get a few callbacks (Gregory and Thumbelina), and hitches with the sound brought some chuckles too.

Families - Earning and Spending
The follow up to Families Food and Eating is just as funny. We revisit our pals from Mexico, Japan and the States and watch them spend their cash. Mike got me laughing from the first riff and other goodies include the Juan Valdez Cosplay line and the 'tentacle' set up (and pay off). Great fun, hope we see these families again in another short.

Kangaroos
This one didn’t come close to matching the laughs I received from "Families". I got a few chuckles from the pooping Joey's and the cameo by a young Nicole Kidman. But as it went on, I found myself getting bored with it.

The Red Hen
The title character is a communist with a secret. A secret a counter intelligence agent named the ‘white duck’, is feverishly trying to uncover! The rest of the movie is about dust baths. This one was hit and miss for me. Sprinkled amongst a few golden gags, are some lines that failed to raise a smile (the 'Punked' and cracked eggs stuff). I'd rank it as fair to middling.

Tooth Truth
Aliens want our children’s teeth! In addition to the disco alien, are a couple of cartoon weirdos named Harv & Marv (I like Kevin's 'mash-up' line concerning these two). The dumb one (Marv) is fascinated by teeth and so the disco alien and his grumpy cartoon pal Harv, answer his questions. I've always enjoyed the freaky shorts, and this one fit that groove to a T. Plus Bill takes it out with a bang.

County Fair
Ah I love the Fair shorts (going back to MST3K). This one has added punch from the various musical numbers. The guys let loose with a steady barrage of silly lyric that had me roaring with laughter. Mr.'s Nelson, Murphy & Corbett were a comedy juggernaut. This was a -tears in the eyes- classic trax, don't miss it. (and I don't care what people say, I love the "bleeping out" the expletives gag. Cracks me up when they do it)

Prickly the Porcupine
More animal antics from Rifftrax – Here we learn about a porcupine named prickly or, 'prick' for short (if Bill is to be believed). Prickly is addicted to salt, his whole life is about salt. He’s even seen movie "Salt" a dozen times. The movie follows our hero in his never-ending search for salt. Getting in his way are cows, dogs and farm children. This is likely the saltiest rifftrax ever, and funny as all get out.

The Mysterious Message
Set in the good old days when people sent handwritten notes, this tells the scary tale of folks who wrote illegibly. The short is ripe for the picking and MK&B do not disappoint. Nice chaps that they are, they even help solve some of the mysteries So hilarious I watched it again and again and again and...

Being a Good Sport
Paula is one foul-mouthed Viking queen - and Woody, her partner in bad sportsmanship, is a quitter who likes to ‘breeag’. Together, with our obliging riffers, they teach us that being a bad sport is so much more enjoyable than being a good one. Okay, I lie... but it is funnier. Recommended - - Oh, and I think Rifftrax should send a copy to LeBron James.

Billy's Helicopter Ride
Uncle Joe takes Billy out for a ride. Yippee. They fly around and look things as a narrator feed us helicopter info. While not one of my favorite shorts, there were laughs, as when Uncle Joe follows a car that might have something to do with his cheating wife - and Billy as Narc officer.

Adventures of a Chipmunk Family
Another okay effort, equitable with the helicopter short. It follows a family of chipmunks, and later a lightening fast weasel zips by. There's a funny quip about the Detroit Lions and one about a city rat, but overall this is a low-key release

Getting Ready For School
This is marked improvement from the last 2 releases. Right out the gate the guys throw out on great quip after another. I loved the line about "Ricky dragging it up" - this short is riddled with riff gems like that. The story is about an irresponsible kid who always puts things off. He learns his lesson after spending the night at anal Pete house, where he meets Pete’s pant-buttoning brother. That would have put the fear of God into me too.

Animal Homes
The homes of animals are explored in detail. From birds to ants to a famous actor (if our riffers are to believed). Though this wasn’t my favorite short, they do get in a couple of my favorite riffs (as when Mike calls a nest of spider eggs "A cocoon of raw nightmares" –shudder, I hate spiders and loved that quip).

At Your Fingertips: Boxes
The folks who gave us the grass short, now teach us how to turn how box trash into arty and crafty trash. Mike, Kev and Bill offer up their own helpful suggestions. Overall a fun offering from the guys (love the Taxi Driver quip) - the short practically writes itself. And yes it's true, and in the good old days before video games, we had to entertain ourselves by building box tunnels to crawl through over and over and over again.

Borrowed Power
After a bumpy start, the guys get into a groove and keep their feet on the comedy pedal to the end. The story concerns a mad dog teen who –allegedly- runs over a pedestrian. The riffing picks up steam during the interrogation scenes. Jerry, our teen maniac, has collected a boatload of warnings, but now he’s in real hot water and he has to sit and take it while a cop unloads his disgust for the lad, and friends crack under pressure and implicate him. While the “ugly” jokes didn’t work for me, most of the other stuff gave me big laughs. Oh, and what the hell is a Bi-Cycle?

Eggs to Market
The riffing explores the dark, pervy underbelly of the 'eggs to market' business. And what strange minds the rifftrax writers must have, to come up with such jokes – strange but good and much needed, as egg factories are not as thrilling as you'd think. Pretty cute work

Juan and his Donkey
Classic! This is story of the boy of Mexico, his donkey and his father and a how Juan learns the meaning of the term "serape". The guys are in top form with this one. They take a nice story and its lesson of being helpful and turn it into a dark tale of sex and murder --- dark, but uproarious.

What is Nothing?
The nothingness will blow your mind! This is the studio version of the hilarious existential treatise shown during the "Jack the Giant Killer" live show. What is nothing? Two boys ponder this deep question and MK&B make it funny – I dug the references (TVs Lost, the Joy Division and fans of the Green Lantern movie), but pretty much every riff works with this one.

One Turkey, Two Turkey
A counting song, with kazoo, what joy. The short is redundant; I don't know how kids sat through this malarkey without benefit of riffs. Mike, Kevin and Bill rip this one up nicely. I loved Mike's line about 'people in jug bands' and of course you can't have a musical short without the guys adding their own lyrics.

We Discover the Dictionary
Sergeant Leland's speech to the class leaves such an impression upon a group of school children that they decide to send him a thank you letter. Dolts that they are, they have to consult a dictionary on nearly every word. This of course, opens a world of wonderful riffing. The guys taunt the kids relentlessly. A boy named Paul, in particular raises their ire. Good stuff, and my favorite lesson came from Kevin, when he noted, "The dictionary is a moral relativist"

I'm Feeling Alone
Scared, lonely children sing about their feelings. Can it get any better than this? Though it last only 7 minutes, it's one of the better shorts. The guys mix in their own words and tease the original lyrics (as well as poking fun at the kid performers themselves). Kevin's closing joke is a killer.

Setting up a Room
We follow up the short short, with an extra long one. It’s 27 minutes of useless information about making a schoolroom look good. The pieces open with scintillating teacher talk about sinks and smocks and how the cubby is moveable! After drawing a diagram, we then watch the ladies move stuff (and stack block after block)- The tedium is palpable but the guys slather on the funny quips –much of it reflecting women full of anger and buried resentment.

Join Hands, Let Go!
The hell? A few laughs are had, but this redundant, soulless film is a joy killer. The premise: A guy in various states of dress does stuff, In between these scenes, up pop the children of the damned, who gad about and sing the same song over again. Not much here to enjoy.

The Creeps Machine
Enter the creeps machine – where you’ll meet old Bobo and listen to a pervy sounding narrator. There are a couple of cute quips within, but overall, despite a short that seems ripe for the picking, I didn't feel it was their best effort. Okay, but they’ve done funnier.

Rama and his Elephant
A follow up to the winning "Juan, a boy of Mexico" – would this one be as good? If Kevin's hilarious line about Rama kidnapped by a call center is any indication, then the answer is a resounding, yes! I got a real kick out of the way the guys would interpret Rama, and the elephant's thoughts and actions. Elephant violence and rampages were also at the core of the story.

What Are Letters For
Kids crawl on trees and sing songs and learn about letters. While I got a few chuckles, I wouldn't rank this as one of my favorites. It was rather dry, both movie and quips.

Making Sense With Sentences
Mr. Sentencesmith (of the Grammarian Sentencesmith's) teaches a young boy how to write sentences by employing a series of mind games – oh and he has a monkey. This is a naughty and crazy trax (Mr Smith is a mad man). I liked the cosplay line and the Sentencesmith impressions (it helps to work up some spittle when you do them). Excellent work from the trio, highly recommended.

Jobs in Cosmetology
Gut bustlingly funny, and weird considering what they do to your hair (according to the madcap visionaries at Rifftrax). Before this short I wondered, "Could cosmetology be made interesting?" Wonder no more, it can, especially when there are Beatniks and beheadings involved! Skip this at your peril, or at least at a great personal loss to your funny bone.

What Make Things Float?
Kids in a boat throw stuff in the water. Starts off brilliantly, but as the short gets more clinical the laughs dry up.

Lets Pretend: Magic Sneakers
A boy puts on magic shoes and is chased by a blue demon vampire. Which sounds like Stephenie Meyer's next great idea -- It's actually a weird and nonsensical short picked apart by Rifftrax. Overall okay.

Beginning Responsibility: The Broken Bookshop
Reuben likes fixing books... specifically, talking books. Books that bitch and moan about the abuse they receive from kids and animals. This is another great short. Bizarre and hilariously riffed – another must-see 'trax.

Corky the Crow
Do you know what a Crow is? This short will tell ya. But first Kevin makes a hilarious Hitchcock inspired introduction. Dark quips abound. All 'round good effort

Reading From Now On
Why can't Mike read? I'm not sure, but it's fun listening to him being teased by our erudite riffers. This release was a riot from the start, and it gets even funnier once young Mike goes on a reading spree. Loved it - but after viewing, I found myself with a mad craving for Hot Dog.

Friends
It opens with a frantic girl rushing about, and then leads to an odd hyperactive one at the playground, which takes us to one who speaks to bugs. This strange band does things, like have plumb fights. Despite the insanity it's a long, dull short that leads nowhere. But the cute riffing picks things up considerably.

The Lemonade Stand: What's Fair?
And now we get friendship from the male perspective. 3 pals start their own business, but it's a rocky partnership. Marred by kickbacks and workers who slack off. The short ends like Truffaut's "400 Blows", but with greater resonance (well, greater if your a Lemonade salesman). Steady work from the guys brightens up another sluggish, plot-less film.

The Clean Club
More spooky weirdness from Churchill films: Talking filth and inanimate objects that give lessons about personal hygiene are the highlight the piece. If you liked Taking Care of Your Own Things and wanted more, the Clean Club is a nightmare come true. Rifftrax delivers laugh after laugh with this first-rate release. I especially was fond of the pants that puts its crotch in a kids face.