Excellence Level: Sub-Par
Movie Pain: High - I like Hamlet, but this version is a snoozer
Riffing: Induced mostly smiles
Skits: Liked the Hamlet figure but little else

The "not so" great Dane done German style: Defenders of this experiment argue that it has been unjustly maligned. "I say thee nay!" I feel I've been more than just in my malignment. In all actuality, I've never tried harder to find a silver lining for an episode. I've listened and watched attentively; analyzed and searched for humor. I gave the Ham-meister every opportunity to entertain, and on almost every level it failed me.
     For one: the story is too dry and wordy and as a result the riff count is slim. For another, there's a high rate of failed jokes. Combine the two and your left with a short supply of laughter.
     Defenders also level the argument that anti-Hamy's dislike the show because the riffing is too highbrow -the insinuation is that it's too smart for us- when in fact a close examination reveals the opposite. Hamlet is riddled with schoolboy quips about lice, boogers, condoms and the like. Truthfully; does it really take an English Major to understand a fart joke? No my friends, Ham isn't any more esoteric than anything else done on the show.
     In short, It was a noble attempt and there are a handful of genuinely funny jabs. They get points for trying something different, but choosing to whale on "Hamlet" was a poor decision. It took me 3 shots before I was able to sit through this episode all the way through. Sheer boredom aborted the first 2 attempts; on the 3rd I forced myself to stick with it just for this write up. Along with the KTMA's, it'll be a loooong time before I subject myself to another viewing.

Host Segments
Intro: Tom changes his name to "Htom Sirveaux". Segment 1: Crow also changes his name. Pearl loses at Mike's game, so he gets to choose the movie. But Pearl gets the last laugh. Segment 2: Mike foils the "Bots as Ghosts" plan. Segment 3: Crow and Tom present the percussive version of Hamlet. Segment 4: Alas poor who? End: Hamlet action figures and Fortenbras enters Castle Forrester. Stinger: Cladius makes a face.

Notable Riffs
*"Alas Poor Who?" - Mike
*"Flights of angels sing thee to thy rest." - "Unfortunately, they're Northwest angels, so they'll be late." - Horatio/Crow
*"If he but blanche, I know my course." - "But if he par boils..." - Hamlet/Mike
*"May four captains bear thee like a soldier to the stage." - "Captain Spaulding, Captain Kangaroo, Captain Crunch..." - Horatio/Crow
*"I'll take 'To Be' for $500, Alex." - Crow
*"Danish clowns: The damp, smelly, silverfish infested basement of the clown world." - Crow
*"I suppose there's no chance there's going to be a jet ski chase in this movie, is there, Mike?" - Servo
*"Couldest thou walk slower!? Geez!" - Crow
*"I see a cherub... "In thy nose." - Hamlet/Crow
*"But it's cherry flavored kid's poison, he should love it!" - Crow
*"And the king peels off his skin and becomes a dinosaur from Mars! Oh, I guess not." - Servo
*"Hey, Hamlet, why don't you Ram-let?" - Crow
*"Well, Mike, this has convinced me not to kill your dad and marry your mom." - Crow
*"What is it, 'cold water on the groin', I mean Polonius." - Crow as King
*"The Nuns sent me home, my skirt is too short." - Crow as Hamlet
*"Give us the foils" - "We shall some potatoes bake." - Hamlet/Servo